It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
please don't ironically join a cult
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