I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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