A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
