Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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