Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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