I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Im part way to drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
