sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
