found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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