So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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