hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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