Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
