just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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