Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
