I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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