Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
