8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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