you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
