whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Operation Purity has been aborted
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
