Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
