If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you had me at cake vodka
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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