Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
