I wish I only lived at night.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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