i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
