I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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