They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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