A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
