I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize