he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
