We won't sleep together?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
