Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
