i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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