question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
