and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
