Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
