Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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