Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
