remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
