Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
