If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
