worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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