I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
