I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
True college students do jello shots in the library
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
