Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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