sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
