Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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