Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
