woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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