i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
