I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
