Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
