my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
