I need help removing her.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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