I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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