He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
