I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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