oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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