All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
