just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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