is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Still dying that you shit outside
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
